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Broken Heart

last edit: 2/6/23 3:04 On the morning of January 4th, around 5 in the morning, I experienced a life-changing event-- I was rushed into emergency heart surgery.

Let me start from the beginning.

I had been experiencing very uncomfortable, very painful chest pains for quite some time now, without any explanation to the cause or any hope that they would improve on their own. On the night of the 3rd, these pains had reached a peak that I was not at all confident I'd be able to just sleep through as I had been doing up until that point. I was struggling to catch my breath, which I tried to remedy by pacing around my apartment but this only seemed to make things worse. I started panicking, feeling like I was legitimately about to die. I finally followed my gut and called 911, and the paramedics arrived promptly.

I was rushed to the hospital, where it was determined that I was suffering from an aortic dissection, or a tear of the aorta, and liquid was leaking out of my heart.

I would need surgery immediately, and so they rushed me to the next city over for my operation. The doctor who performed

my two operations (yes I had to be cut open twice in total) suspected the cause of the tear to be a result of Marfan Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder. I'm still waiting on the results of a genetics test to confirm this diagnosis.


So it has been confirmed; I do have the mutated gene associated with Marfan Syndrome. This is a connective tissue disorder that affects the heart, bones, skin, eyes, and is the reason for why my aorta tore.


I am so lucky to be alive right now. The care I received from every single medical staff member during my week-long stay at the hospital post-operation plus the unconditional love & support of my parents, family, friends, cats, and of course the big, beautiful sex work community as a whole have done so much for my post-operation recovery.

So... Now what? Well, I was given a 2-3 month estimated recovery time, and during this time I will obviously need to focus primarily on healing and regaining my strength from surgery. 

A lot has had to change now, for me. In addition to new diet restrictions and medications that I have to adhere to for the rest of my life, there are also some permanent physical limitations I must now keep in mind.

I cannot lift/pull/push heavy things, even once I'm healed (less than 10lbs) because of the artificial tube in my chest. I cannot do any activities that place me at risk of getting bumps, bruises, or cuts because the new medication I'm on. I can no longer explore pole dancing or continue rollerskating, unfortunately. In general I'm just much more fragile.

to learn more, please read this thread

I shared on twitter:

I'm not going to allow any of my new limitations to hold me back. Yes, I'm going to follow the rules because I want to live a long, healthy life. But I'm not going to live my life in fear. What's that expression? When one door closes, another one opens. Right now, my primary focus needs to be on getting adequate rest, taking my daily walks to regain strength/stamina (you wouldn't believe how much was lost from the surgery), eating properly in adherence to my strict new low sodium/low sugar/low Vitamin K and C diet, avoiding any injury even minor, and taking care of my mental health. It feels like a lot at times but I am a very strong woman; in mind, body, and spirit and I've never doubted my ability to conquer this. Ultimately this will just be another chapter in my story.

When I am able to function normally again, I definitely will be returning to work; taking bookings, making video content, and webcamming. I am still able to do all of these things, and make the necessary adjustments where I need to. If you haven't already noticed, I have already started resuming video content in my limited capacity, and will continue to use this recovery period as a chance to be creative with my uploading to my various clipsites. I also plan to explore the phone-sex market on websites like NiteFlirt and SextPanther, so if that's your thing then please stay tuned.

You can follow my twitter page for continual updates on my progress, I tweet out rather often but wanted to put this explanation here so everyone has access to the news not just twitter family. This entire experience has been incredibly humbling and definitely shown me what's most important in life. I'm thankful every day to be given another chance to live and breath, and I'm not going to waste the opportunity that the Universe has given me. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

During this time, Donations toward my recovery are most appreciated. Until I'm able to start working again, I am relying on the financial support of my parents and the leftover monies I had available before my surgery. If you're able to contribute, your assistance will be GREATLY appreciated. Please click the "GIFT" tab to see the info for my payment apps, and please shoot me a message after you've sent so that I know who to properly thank.

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